Friday, April 08, 2005

Always and Never

Sometimes, life brings you to your knees.
Sometimes you get up.
Sometimes you just lay there and take it.

Sometimes, life is hard to swallow.
Sometimes you can choke it down, barely getting it past the lump thats been in your throat for days, weeks, years.
Sometimes you give up trying to choke it down and just move on, blindly, in slow motion, and in solitude.

Sometimes, you tell yourself you cant take it anymore.
Sometimes you hate your own strength, sometimes you want to walk away from yourself.
Then you take it, and take it some more.

Sometimes all you feel is pain.
Sometimes you can stuff it down, tuck it away.
Sometimes it tucks you away, stuffs you down, consumes you.

Sometimes, its not what is said or done to you.
Sometimes its what you do to yourself.
You want, you need, the pain to stop.
But the pain reminds you of what you really are.
The pain reminds you to keep cleansing your soul.

Some people wash their hands of you.
I wash my soul of you.

5 comments:

Gama said...

Beautiful! sad but very true.
*kisses* and (((((hugs)))))

Azathoth said...

I can feel your pain through the lines, wish I had a way to bring back your smile. I hope things turn out better than they seem.

Jay said...

Sometimes, it is not your fault to be what you are
Sometimes, you can’t do much for anything you wishes for
Sometimes, you wish if you could end your life
Sometimes, you feel happy

But at most all the times, we can only dream for the miracles to happen
Because it will never come.

themadamefiles said...

Holy moly girl! I wept so much when I read that post. It is sooo beautiful, and I know where that spot is. I have been there too, and it hurts, so very much, but you know what, we leave behind the old baggage and after we leave it behind, we feel lighter, stronger. It takes time, but anger is better than fear or sadness. There is fire in anger, and it is that fire that will propell you to survive, you are one wild woman warrior (it must be the red hair!! ;-) and this is just another notch in your belt. Another war over, you walked away the winner. You have triumphed.

It is soo good to see you back my dear!! MSN me and we will yak ;-)

Bookend said...

Been on my kness
and barely getting up
had a hard time swallowing
and moved on in slow mo

I feel your pain....but am so very glad to see you've returned so strong...

Love to ya...big love to ya...