So I did a little research and found out a few interesting things about redheads. While most may laugh at these assumptions and such, I remain confused. Not in a blond kind of way, but in an angry frustrated, gimme a baseball bat so I can show you how red my hair is kind of way.
"Oxford researchers believe that ALL redheads inherited the gene from European Neanderthals. Based on rate of gene mutation, Oxford says the redhead gene appears to be much older than Cro-Magnon man in Europe. The accepted explanation is that the Celtic tribes had a strong remnant of Neanderthal blood caused by Cro-Magnon/Neanderthal interbreeding."
Ok wtf...so its not bad enough that Im devil spawn, now Im inbred before inbreeding was so popular? And a cromag girl to boot.... Brb, checking my forehead for cranial lumps and protrusions!
"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." MARK TWAIN "
Ok Mark Twain 1 - Oxford Researchers 0
"If you want trouble... find your self a redhead."
Ok I dont know who said that but that SOB is a dirty bastard, hes right, but still a dirty bastard.
"Natural redheads make up only 2 percent of the U.S. population. The country with the most number is Scotland with 13 percent, followed closely by Ireland at 10 percent."
Great, just what I needed, to stand out...
"Most hair stylist can tell you, redheads have some of the thickest hair, not the most number of strands but the thickest. An average head of hair has about 100,000 strands. Redheads average 900,000; blondes 120,000."
Great, even better... so I stand out and have a huge red afro.
"Red hair has not always been a good thing. During the "Mid-Evil Ages" thousands of redheads were burned as witches simply because of hair color."
And we know from previous research that when they went to hunt them down, they sure as hell didnt have a hard time finding them.
"Britain's Queen Elizabeth I, historians say, was the first to make the hair color popular, though we know it has been around at least 3,000 years because of redheaded mummies found in China."
Oh neat! Wait, I know history. History says that around 1000 B.C. the mongols (Asians) made a habit of trekking to what is now Ireland and Scotland to STEAL redheads because there was a myth that they held unnatural powers that could make a person immortal. But once they got them there, found them to be powerless, they tortured them to death. Thanks to ancient times that they only got to snatch a few here and there. Just imagine how many dead redheads they would have found if they had those snazzy double decker buses back then.....
And last but not least. I found this interesting tidbit that Bruce Springsteen ranted out an unknown amount of time ago....
"Man, you ain't lived
Till you've had your tires rotated
By a redheaded woman"
Well Aza was right. I put in my request to give up. Shortly afterwards lifes truant officer came to my door. He told me that I had filed the wrong paper and sent it to the wrong office. Then he asked me to step outside with my hands up. Being a stubborn redhead of course I refused. Before I knew it, he had me on the ground, Rodney King style, telling me to stop trying to get up. Get up? I wasnt even trying. I just laid there. Then the neighbors, my friends, and even those damn cats my dad talks to when he drinks wild irish rose came and joined in. They beat me like the proverbial redheaded step child that I am. Balled into the fetal position, bloody and worn out all I remember was the officer yelling over and over, Ma'am quit trying to get up! He broke out his can of everlasting mace and sprayed me directly in the face. As I began cursing him for the government dog that he was he informed me that had I only filed my request to give up at the federal building, I wouldnt have had this problem. He also told me that it was because I was a redhead that I got the beating. He said that the blonds only get a quiz.
So, what Im wondering is this. Is it just in my world, in the dusty redneck hills of Va that there is this redhead h8? Im serious. Dont laugh. Ive been treated very oddly at times in my life. Women glare at me, men give me the "eye" when I dont even know them. You know, the "Hey I know what you are all about eye", and I could be sitting there without a thought in my damn head. I once had a woman in a check out line glare at me so furiously that I got enraged and asked her "Whats your damn problem??" She replied, I dont like redheads so I dont like you. I remember laughing because she had fake ass dyed red hair. I looked at her hair, I looked at her eyes, back to her hair, back to her eyes... nothing. It didnt register.
When I was about 7 or so. I had a lady tell me that redheads were "of the devil." Then she looked me close in the face, seen that my eyes were different colors and informed me that a couple hundred years ago, my hair and my "discolored eyes" would have gotten me burned at the stake. I guess she was catholic because she made the sign of the cross as she backed away. Never turned her back on me. Oh, this was in a church parking lot.
If I have to hear one more time.. If life throws you lemons.... make lemonade!
No, hell no. When life throws lemons at me... I pick them up, squeeze all the damn juice out of them, stalk life like the low life scum it is, hold it by the neck, and squirt all that damn citric acid RIGHT IN ITS FUCKING EYES.
On a side note, all members of the female gender, are spontanious tricksters that know not what ye be messing with... or maybe you do and get some enjoyment out of the confused looks of onlookers. I don't get it, I just don't get it
1. I dont have to have someone around me all the time. I do enjoy perfect, and uninteruppted solitude.
2. Sometimes I laugh at entirely inappropriate moments. Not outloud usually, just that I do it is enough to make me wonder exactly how freakish I am.
3. Im the one in my group of friends whom people always urge to tell someone off, or to lay something out for someone who needs to be told. Its almost expected.
4. I will agree as of today, that redheads can truly be the most evil of females on earth.
5. I have learned to appreciate the last statement.
6. I have the thickest skin in the world. People around me sometimes look me in the eye when they push what are normal limits, just to see if they finally found the one thing thats going to make me react. Its never works.
7. I have the innate ability to totally shut out the outside world. I can be entertained for hours simply by my own mind, thoughts and vivid daydreams.
8. To complement the above ability, I also have the further ability to totally forget, lose or dispose of ugly or unwanted memories to include events, relationships and not limited to eliminating bad years of my life in their entirety.
9. I crave knowledge of everything, all things. I have to have a partner with a very high amount of intelligence and common sense, without those two things even a golden adonis hasnt got a chance to do more then have me stare at him a few moments, and then walk away, laughing inappropriately.
10. I often appear cold and unfeeling because I dont whine, cry, or break down into a feminine ball of needy substance no matter what turmoil I face. If I do, its always alone and no one the wiser, except for me.
11. None of the above 10 things has ever done anything to contribute to any relationship Ive ever been in. So is it me, or is it them who cant cope with that?
2) Watch Sealab and Family Guy fanatically (nuff said)
3) Eat total crap and call it a meal. Potato chips and Little Debbie cakes preferably. (Yay for losing weight, time to eat!)
4) Refuse to listen to the first person who tries to make sense out of something senseless. (Hopefully to be followed up by a long soap opera stare and a slow nod while backing away)
5) Scream Wooohoo every time I get in the truck to leave the house (Sounds stupid but when other people catch you doing it, and you are alone... well they give you that look.. that reminds you of the way everyone stared at you when you did some dumbass moron thing as a kid. That look makes me giggle. I definately need a few good giggles to get through this week)
You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time alone but do like other people's company sometimes. You just need your space. You have a few priviledged friends who saw past your colder exterior to find the true you. You can have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to admit it) so you could be soft one second then storming around the next! But over all, you're a very pleasant person once people take the time to get to know you. You're a good friend for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when it comes to creative things.(If you can't see tje pics, go to my homepage and look near the bottom and find your result)
You're like a dragon. Dragons where the terrible creatures that lived in large caves and often swooped down out of the sky and stole sheep, cows, and even people from the countryside to eat. They were gigantic with spikes along the back and tail. Some had wings, legs, and the ability to breathe fire. Even in the Bible, the Levithian resembled something like a dragon so they may have actually existed. Dragons were loyal protectors that were more powerful that any other animal that ever lived. Some where peaceful and others just wanted to destroy. The pest control for dragons were Knights who were appointed the task of killing a dragon. Some stories tell us that eating the dragon heart let you claim victory in any battle or eating the tongue would allow you to win any debate. (If you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage and look near the bottom. There should be the picture and description for all the results)
As if you were born into a world of tears, you always tend to look at the darker things in life. Inside you crave attention yet push away society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn to things like the occult and mysteries, you spend your time daydreaming.
You are mysterious love. You wants things to be a bit deeper, a bit more emotional. You want to explore, to try more things. You don't want to settle for just one good thing. Your love is mixed messages.
1) I have good friends that care about me. They ask me whats wrong, if Im ok.
2) Being called Baby. "How are you doing today baby?" No matter what sex it comes from it just feels good.
3) GOT MY TEETH FIXED-N-CLEANED. Almost cried like an idiot. Dentist is great. No pain! She did the cleaning for free because I told her I was job hunting and it was hard to find a GOOD job with teeth like that. Cried from happiness all the way to Moms.
4) Weigh 145 lbs! First time in YEARS Ive weighed that little. Crash diets can be appealing. Walking a lot also knocks off all that extra ass Ive been carrying around with me. No more love handles!~
5) Having a couch to sleep on. Much better then the hard cold ground I believe.
6) Loving myself. Its getting a lot easier with all of the above going on.
7) Being loved. I am patient. I can wait. I can wait for years and years if I have to. If its worth it. How will I know when its worth it? When I find someone who goes...
Hey Baby, how are your friends doing? Wow, your teeth look great! Did you lose some weight? Dont sleep on that cold hard couch. I'll get you a nice warm bed to sleep in. I love you. I love what you are. I love how you talk, walk, smile and cry.
Thank god for patience. Or I would have been dead long ago.
Well I havent seen Kt in a while now, I think its been two weeks today. His ex-gf has been over there as usual leeching all his money, sitting there with her current bf, pissing him off. Ive just tried to avoid the drama a bit. But I feel like I owe it to someone who really is a friend first to be supportive. He does tend to share things with me he wouldnt others. And EVEN though a mutual friend told me about him being with someone else last week... I am wondering if I should remember I am a friend first and call and ask how hes doing?
We have never made any commitment towards each other, thats kind of the point. But again, hes a friend.... ok ok I should call right....
Ok So I dreamed up this conversation to have with Kt next time I go over there.
Kt: Something wrong Joy?
Kt: Are you mad at me?
Joy: I have no right or reason to be mad at you.
Kt: Then what are you mad at?
Joy: For caring.
Kt: About me?
Kt: I didnt know
Joy: Well now you do
Kt: So why are you mad at yourself for that?
Joy: BECAUSE YOU ARE A MANWHORE, HOOKER, PUBLIC PIECE O MEAT?