Another Turning Point, A Fork Stuck in the Road

I'm not sure why hes landed on my mind again. Maybe it's because regardless of what anyone believes, I know I have a heightened perception that others may not have, or at least refuse to believe they do, while just assuming life is a series of coincidences, which is very well may still be, but hes there, lurking in my mind. You know how I know he's there? I don't see him, I don't even know if I FEEL him there, its more like, part of his being becomes part of my own. And no, I'm not on drugs that should cause that. What I mean is the suddenly I'm watching Green Day and Sublime videos on youtube, these are not commonly bands I would ever listen to on youtube. I try to reserve that for shit I REALLY like.

More than all of that. I've found myself missing him just intensely and being once again annoyed when people squabble over the petty shit in life. But in all of my wonderings, I never put him back on earth, as in 'what would he be doing now if he were alive', I've long ago come to terms with the fact that he isn't, but there are days when it seems like I feel his very own mischievous spirit coming through, urging me to speed a few seconds if it makes me feel good, telling me to go ahead and drink that beer just for the hell of it. Things that are so out of character for me, but so him.

Maybe there is something we do or go through that can 'call them back from time to time' and there is always the old notion that just before someone dies they begin to see or feel manifestations from the other side, scary thought I know, but there it is.

I read an article today by an Oprah show writer about whether people believe or not that their long dead relatives, friends or even pets come to walk them to the other side, and I'll be honest some of that freaked me out a bit too, things about how spirits usually manifest in corners really floored me considering the whole year I spent post Steves death with something in the corner scaring me bad enough to sleep with the lights on as a grown woman with 2 small children.

And all I could think once I finished that article was damn good article buddy. but I'm here to tell you, that you don't have to be on your way to dying to get a visit.

Icey Volcanos

Okay I'm no conspiracy theorist, but this shit is getting deep. It's time to start seriously taking a look at the HAARP project. Seriously.

Sensing the Good

I don't know if it is a god given gift, one that we all have but some can't tap into, or just an awareness that is given to some as a gift or a burden, theirs to chose which to make of it. But in some of us the view of the rightfully good is permanently a front row seating arrangement. And for the same of us, the inherent evil of something permeates the air around them before our eyes as well. For some so implanted with this seemingly extra sense, it can be a dreadful curse until we learn to accept the power of it and the potential blind wisdom in it. Although the landscape of the human world has changed drastically in the last few hundred years and is sure to change in inconceivable ways in as much future, some things do remain the same. These parts of our human history are doomed to repeat themselves and only the lucky ones can live in blissful ignorance of all of the above. Especially in our ancient times did our ancestors hold much more simple titles. There were no secretaries, but there were scribes, there were no doctors, but there were healers (Beth), there were no yogo teachers, but there were very wise females who taught others how to harness the power and the peace of mother earth itself (Kuan), there were no presidents of companies but there were wise men whom others would always stop to consider their words before acting on the important phases of their lives (Jeff & Dan), and last but not least there were the warriors among us (Dave), who honed their bodies and their skills to protect all of the above manners of life that contributed to the greater good, as well as to keep in check the evil that lurks among us at most every turn in the road. I think it does a disservice to us to forget our primitive or primeval services to the earth and one another. When all of the ugly is so plain to see, it takes that once cherished blissful ignorance and makes a mockery of it when compared to the ability to sense the good in a hazy cloud full of disaster and evil. I suppose the warriors and the scribes, the healers and the teachers, the wise men and the seekers will always continue to come in many different time appropriate forms. But the ability to sense the good deep within will never provide a different effect on the ones who feel it, who know it. Whether it be the warm feeling of sunshine on your face when you are still inside, or the cold cringing flinch you feel when evil is about that you perceive, it is the perception of it that makes it a solid and realistic thing. If you can put yourself in a place where you do not refer to people in their current titles and career choices, or their familiarity with families or a certain lifestyle, and just see them for what their primitive place on the early earth would have been, it makes sensing the good or the aura of evil easier by the 100 fold.

Okay no one send me messages asking if Im on some kind of new meds or anything. This is one of my crazy trains of thought I get when trying to force myself to sleep and so I never get up and write it. Tonight I got up and wrote it, so sue me.