Saturday, June 24, 2006

The hard part

Well here comes the hardest part for me. The book is set to be released in 2 more days and I now have to go to each of the parents of the boys I wrote the book about and present them with a copy, and hope that they will feel it did them justice. Questions and concerns just keep rattling me. I know all these parents well too, Steves mom is so sweet and kind hearted, and very sensitive. She will cry, a lot. Robbies Mom and Dad are a bit of a different story. His dad is a bit hardcore while his mom is a bit more reserved but a lot more judgemental. I get the feeling that both of them will look at me with a bit more respect, but still remain wary of my intentions. Then there is Bens mom. I think shes the hardest, she knew me as a little kid too, and a messed up one. She is going to be the hardcore honest one. If she thinks I had no right to say those things she will tell me. The same thing I love her for I fear from her. Its always been that way with Diane. I know its pointless to worry at this point but I dont want any of these parents to feel like 'who the hell is she to write about my child'. I guess I feel that way because all along I have put myself in their shoes and wondered if Id feel the same if someone wrote a book about my deceased child.

Ill just keep telling myself I did it out of love, because thats exactly why I did. I love those boys still to this day and no matter how happy I ever become in my lifetime I will still look forward to the day that I get to see them again. Its more then comforting to know with positivity that I will.


Jay said...


Took me two weeks to write you a comment in the book review – been busy with work + my gf wants to read it first. To be frank, you made me cry, the book is so damn touchy! My gf cries too (saw her reading alone). It is a good work of art, congrats dear!

Azathoth said...

In the end, while you may want to please the parents, it's a book about your friends and your love for them. I see no reason why they would look badly at it. The feelings you had for their kids shines through on every page, and while it may hurt it also should make them smile in remembering things about their kids that they wern't there for.
The fact is, you were true to your heart, and to the memory of those you love. No one can fault you for that.