Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sunshower 13

Gregory Steven Kinzie

I laughed to myself the day, not long ago, that I realized that your name was Gregory Steven, not Steven Gregory. I remember the day you confessed it to me, my poking fun at you for what sounded goofy to me as a 10 year old. I remember so well the two little kids we appeared to be while being so grown, so wise of soul. I can still see clearly the day my dad caught me, you and Jay out next to Jays shed just chillin, except you had your hand up my shirt when my dad came around the corner. Jay and I knew my dad well, so before we could breath we just jumped up and ran. Unfortunately you didnt know my dad well enough to know what to do. I remember Jay and I running all the way down to the park, and stopping and looking, and my dad had you lifted off the ground with one hand around your neck. I remember mine and Jays laughter turning into fear when he really wasnt putting you down. Haha. I dont even remember the trouble I got in for it. Tells you where my heart was at long ago I suppose. :p

Today isnt really the day I would normally choose to remember as far as your life went. May the 16th was the day you died. We had so much life together before that. So many phases, so many talks, so many days and nights together. For me though, this day in history proves to be a most highlighted one. At first it was just Susans birthday. We always did try to avoid her didnt we? She was fun for a while, but then it always came back to where we stood with one another, common ground. Our common ground was that we were really only tolerant of each other in our little neighborhood gang of kids who literally grew up together, from second grade to the seventh, before and after. Chris, Jay, Melissa, yeah they were there, with us and them we made what was I'm sure a formidable gang of ruffians or heathens as my dad enjoyed calling us. But in the end, or when shit got deep, things went to hell, it was you and I who ran for the hills together. (well, once you figured out you should that is :p)

Today as I remember you I also remember my son Steven, whom I havent been permitted to see for several years. He is 13 today. Thats 13 years without you, and many more painful ones without your namesake. I dont know why things turned out this way, all I do know is that none of it was fair, none of it was good and none of it is appreciated. One day my son will know the love and the pain and the fear and the joy that went into his birth and days leading up to. Hopefully he will understand that the people who have kept him from me, from you, from our world, were just ignorant bitter people who should be pitied more then anything.

I hope its not lonely where you are these days. I hope you know that many here still think of you, with all the love and honor and hope of the true friendships we shared. We still share.

RIP Gregory Steven Kinzie


A Cats Eye View On the World said...

i promise you that steve is in paradise and that he is always near you. I love to hear you reminisce of your times together. those are the greatest stories ever! One day your son will know the truth and everything you went through for him.

jadedprimadonna said...

This is a very poignant post. I also believe Steve is in paradise, looking out for both you and his namesake.

Kuan said...

into death, until rebirth you shall be loved and honored, then loved and honored again. I didn't know you but I know I would have liked you. Peace Brother.
Yes Joy one day your son will know the truth and all that is in pieces will become whole again.