Sunday, March 05, 2006

Sharing the Wisdom

A quote has been stuck in my head for a few months now.

"Peoples action belies their guilt"

I have no idea who said this or where it came from. But I have been going out of my way to observe this. Sometimes someone does something rude, or disrespectful to you. Or perhaps they are just an unfaithful lover. But no matter what the situation or the person they always act out their guilt in an incredible way. Let me give you a an example and maybe tomorrow or 20 years from now you will see this in action yourself, and realize what you are witnessing.

A friend borrows 20 dollars from you.

Innocent Friend: Still comes by. Apologizes for not paying you back yet and is still the same friend you loaned the money to. Honestly intends on paying you back but is having a hard time and sharing that truth with you.
Guilty Friend: Although you usually talk to this person 12 times a day on the phone and they stop by 10 times a week, they suddenly disappear from the face of the earth. This person is feeling guilt. They perhaps knew that they couldnt pay you back when they borrowed the money. If they thought they could, but in the end couldnt, then perhaps it wasnt intentional, but there is a lack of respect in just pretending like nothing is wrong. A good friend will never abandon the friendship, no matter who the responsible party in the break.

Sometimes you just screw up, or even accidentally screw someone over that you really care for or love. It involves shame and guilt and sadness, but in those situations try to imagine how the other party feels. Someone they loved did something to them that makes them feel insecure, or not as much of a friend as they thought. It might be embarrassing, or humiliating, but never be afraid to humble yourself. It will make you something that you wish others would be for you. It will enable you to sleep at night while others toss and turn with guilt. It will make you worthy of being called Friend.

1 comment:

Azathoth said...

I have been through this with several people in my life. I always try and make sure they know that our friendship means more than the money or the item. This is why I tell people I don't let anyone borrow money, I give them money and if they someday want to give it back they can.