I was wandering around a couple weeks back when a friend of mine made an odd comment to me. He was slightly annoyed with me and Im sure he meant it to be an insult. The conversation ensued after most of us had drank at least 6 beers or so. There was loud music playing, weird shit cooking on the grill and people just in general staggering around. I was reaching into the back of my truck for some clothes when an old friend came to the back of the truck and grabbed my legs and proceeded to jerk me out of the truck and onto my face. I kind of flew backwards. Im guessing from their point of view I kind of resembled a red-headed demon backwards flying superman... er supergirl... fuck it Im not the feminist type... superman. As I landed on my chest in the grass I flipped over to find my old friend standing over me, laughing. Leeroy. Ok Leeroy is a real sweetheart. Ive known him for years. The only person I know of sweeter then Leeroy is his wife whom Ive also known for years. And Im just laying there stunned because its like Ive just been jerked onto my face by Mr. Rogers himself. So I jumped up and extended myself to my full intimidating height of five foot three and looked down at Leeroy. Yes I said looked down. So being confused and drunk and slightly amused I questioned Leeroy. Things were going good until he made 'the comment'.
Me: Leeroy, what the fuck?
Leeroy: Hey gurl, hows it going, havent seen ya in a while.
Me: Lee, you cant do that shit, just go around jerking women to the ground.
Leeroy: Uhh, well, yer legs was sticking out.
Me: Lee, you cant grab stuff just because its sticking out.
Leeroy: (looks confused)
Me: Ok let me clarify. You cant grab stuff thats sticking out if its not on your body.
Leeroy: Oooh, I get it. A pause then, 'GIT 'ER DONE.'
Me: Thats it you bastard its on.
So I launched onto Leeroy,normal forward flying superman style this time. And we roll down the hill, wrestling around. (aka as wrassling around here) We were having a good ol' drunken redneck time until I was lifted off the ground by another friend Ive known since I was 12. Feet dangling and out of breath I couldnt stop laughing.
Friend: Jesus christ you two stop killing each other the food is almost done. At least eat first.
Me: We were just playing man.
Friend: Oh.
Me: Why did you pull me off of him instead of pulling him off of me.
Friend: Cuz you are bigger.
Me: What? Nevermind it, put me down.
Friend: No!
About that time we hear a girlish sounding screech followed by again 'GIT 'ER DONE'.
And again, Leeroy jerks me by my feet and this time I land on my back. So I jumped up in what could best be described as a 'neck cartwheel' and begin pounding on Leeroy once again. The last thing I remember was our friend cursing at us. We both stopped wrestling long enough to look up and see a look of disgust on his face.
"You two are no better then a couple of fucking kids"
Leeroy looks at me. I look at Leeroy. We both look back at our friend.
GIIIIIIIT 'ERRRRR DONNNNEE
Me: Thats it, Im going to kill you.
Ive got to stop this kind of shit soon. I think I broke something important.
2 comments:
sounds like some good times. me and my buddy james used to wail on each other when drinking, but it sort of ended when i ended up tossing him a bit and he cracked his skull on a desk chair. he said it gave him an even better buzz, until we brought him to the hospital because he was getting sleepy... at nine at night.
i guess the lesson is that you should do that shit 'cause it's fun, and fuck the consequences. there's nothing wrong with acting like a little kid once in a while, or all the time, like i do.
Way to Kick Ass!
Rock on!
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