Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Truant Me

Well Aza was right. I put in my request to give up. Shortly afterwards lifes truant officer came to my door. He told me that I had filed the wrong paper and sent it to the wrong office. Then he asked me to step outside with my hands up. Being a stubborn redhead of course I refused. Before I knew it, he had me on the ground, Rodney King style, telling me to stop trying to get up. Get up? I wasnt even trying. I just laid there. Then the neighbors, my friends, and even those damn cats my dad talks to when he drinks wild irish rose came and joined in. They beat me like the proverbial redheaded step child that I am. Balled into the fetal position, bloody and worn out all I remember was the officer yelling over and over, Ma'am quit trying to get up! He broke out his can of everlasting mace and sprayed me directly in the face. As I began cursing him for the government dog that he was he informed me that had I only filed my request to give up at the federal building, I wouldnt have had this problem. He also told me that it was because I was a redhead that I got the beating. He said that the blonds only get a quiz.

So, what Im wondering is this. Is it just in my world, in the dusty redneck hills of Va that there is this redhead h8? Im serious. Dont laugh. Ive been treated very oddly at times in my life. Women glare at me, men give me the "eye" when I dont even know them. You know, the "Hey I know what you are all about eye", and I could be sitting there without a thought in my damn head. I once had a woman in a check out line glare at me so furiously that I got enraged and asked her "Whats your damn problem??" She replied, I dont like redheads so I dont like you. I remember laughing because she had fake ass dyed red hair. I looked at her hair, I looked at her eyes, back to her hair, back to her eyes... nothing. It didnt register.

When I was about 7 or so. I had a lady tell me that redheads were "of the devil." Then she looked me close in the face, seen that my eyes were different colors and informed me that a couple hundred years ago, my hair and my "discolored eyes" would have gotten me burned at the stake. I guess she was catholic because she made the sign of the cross as she backed away. Never turned her back on me. Oh, this was in a church parking lot.

See what I mean? Dont lie, why the h8?


Dan said...

Now i know you've lived in that god forsaken state your entire life... and it seems like some god damned hell hole. Your treated unfairly at every turn.

Maybe its the circumstances, but looks like your still in a hugely male dominant area down there. Being the strong woman that you are... it might not settle well with the locals.

Ever considered a different area of residence, somewhere other than mayhaps backwater hicksville?

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

We have hicks here in CT. and they hate me. i am sure they have good reason to. They all know me. I fear them, they all want to kill me. Save yourself while you still can.

Joy said...

The Hick to Human Ratio in Roanoke Va is currently around 43,000 to 2. One at a time they aren't too bad, its when they get all wadded up and come at me saying crap like "Guuurl, yew gotz that debil haar dunt yew", that it gets scary.

Theres safety in numbers, and look at their numbers...
And see Dan, Hicks are everywhere, Im just going to have to buy me a ball of bright yarn and a 6 pack of Schlitz to fend them off.

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw I live in a little hick town and all my neighbors have at least 6 broken down cars on their lawn. They make really ugly ass Whirligigs. I just don't get it, but to each thier own

Azathoth said...

Next time someone in a church parking lot tells you your of the devil smile at them and tell them you know. As for hicks, they're everywhere. I live in a place that in High school I used to call: 'Hicksville USA the only place in America where the cow outnuber the people both in number and IQ'. Just remember, even hicks have their weak spot, kick them in the right place hard enough and you can help prevent inbreeding.