I have no words to describe what I experienced this weekend. The closest ones I can think of are along the lines of...
Electric, soothing, primitive, powerful, breath-taking, deliberate, impressive, sedate, passionate, purposeful, sensory, phenomenal, delightful, provocative, desire and freedom.
I dont get to feel words like this often. So humor me.
Ever have one of those moments where you can feel the electricity in the air? Like before a big thunderstorm? Or even just after one?
One of those times when the best way you can describe how you feel is through sounds of relaxation and tension at once and usually feels almost like a ... thrumming? Of your blood? The world? In tune? hmm
Nothing so deep and confusing or twisted feelings or anger or annoyance, is holding anything and everything you want at bay?
Feeling proverbially, astoundingly, as if you are holding the world in your hands for one moment? Instead of on your back as usual?
I enjoy very much now, the moments in life that are not "Life Changing" or "Memorable Moments". But the little ones where no one but you picked up on something that meant more then anyone else could know.
I was hanging out with Kt and some friends this weekend. The friends were all about the 10 years younger crew around the neighborhood. And as we were standing around Kt, being his usually flirty and crazy self leaned over and kissed this younger girl on the cheek and told her she was a cutie. He then turned around where I was talking to another younger guy, and pointed at me and smiled and said with ... almost pride? in his voice, and said "But this here, is a real woman."
Ok dont get me wrong, Im good, Im sure he didnt see me "glowing" from that. But I did. Kind of sad to realize that such a earthy compliment meant so much to me. I wonder if he knows that? Some guys.. lol..
Wow, I am realizing something I never thought to. Im not now, nor have I ever been the jealous or controlling type, this part I already knew. I dont tell folks what to do, and I dont expect them doing so to me either. Ive never told a bf he couldnt "do" anything he wanted to do. Its just not my ... style? type? Anyway, Ive never suffered jealousy so Ive always had that part of my brain open to the world, but just recently Im realizing how much fun people can be when they really know how to appreciate the opposite sex. Strange that Ive been treated the kindest, from someone whom everyone accuses of scandalizing women. Its weird but after 17 years of watching, I actually know I can appreciate the fact that others have made him what he is today, through, yep, trial and error.
Just for the record men,
Women know when they just got out of bed they look like hell frozen over. But if you tell them they look nice, even though they know you are full of shit, it does matter. No they dont believe you and they might tell you straight to your face you are a liar, but if you smile and look at them they will KNOW if their is love in your eyes or not.
Never be so ignorant that you only tell your woman that she looks good when she just finished dressing herself for a business professional meeting, or a night on the town. Just think about this one for a second... ok, yes, now you see what I mean. That one will come back to haunt you later.
Quit telling women, "You have to tell me what you want, I cant read your mind." Ok, normally I side with the guys on the flighty nature of a lot of women, but listen to yourself on this one and give it a damn second thought. If I have to ask you to get me a dozen roses on Valentines day, or I have to remind you to compliment me, then you have just lost all the reasons she wants you to do those things in the name of. Love, Desire and Friendship. Theres no relationship on earth that will sustain the loss of those three things, happily.
Most importantly, no matter the past or your fears, you have to treat your woman as what you want her to be. If you are going to treat her.. tough, expect her to be that sooner or later. If you never make her, or allow her to feel like the woman in 'your woman', then you have to do that in foresight. Hindsight in relationship is useless most of the time. We all know that. If you want a soft purring kitten, its up to you to have one. Humans are going to reflect their living situations. Just as animals do. You dont get a healthy minded gentle kitten out of a cat you have been ignoring or abusing for years. You get a lion. Some men want something just between that. Someone who can hold their own, or someone they can hold when they want to. Its possible to have that. But again, you have to mold your relationship to something that is satisfying for all on this level. Its possible to have both, as long as you set the boundries and rules early on. *Sidenote* Most real "rules" in relationships are not, and shouldnt be spoken or repeated to sound like ownership instead of partnership. They are the things you respect about the other person because through trial and error, you have learned about the other person. The absolute best way to learn, is to listen. Even if you dont feel like it.