I know anyone looking at this title and knowing how my last week has went would think Im pitying myself again. Im not. Im actually wondering why people like me, or want to be my friend, or want to help me. I feel blessed and cursed all at the same time. Cursed in life but blessed in the people who surround me.
So enough of the poor me shit right now. I just wanted to get it typed in here before I pass out that I appreciate all you do. All the talking and comforting you do with and for me. I dont know what I did to deserve it. Probably nothing. But I think Im sleeping tonight with not such a heavy heart because I know that even if the people I run into daily, face to face, wont be there for me then I always have you guys. Here, IM, email. On a night when I would have laid on my dads couch grinding my teeth against the world, I get to lay down, smile through my tears, and know that if worst comes to worst, then I have the best of the best here for me, just when I need them the most.
I was waiting until tomorrow @ 5pm to see what was going to happen. I already know. He had the order extended by 14 days. But instead of raging through my tears, Ill just remember that there are people here for me, to get me through all of this. Ill try to remember always. Its desperately hard, but Im trying. For me, but a lot for you too. Its easy to disappoint myself. Its not so easy to disappoint those who know I have the ability to stand above this mess. Thanks to you for your faith in me, when I no longer have it.