Monday, February 07, 2005

What the hell? V 3.0

Ok I hope this doesnt get long (rolls eyes) but I have to get it out and I must have some kind of help here. When I was 'hangin' out with Cd things were cool. We were friends, playing video games, lounging on the couch. At some point he called me early one more around 2 weeks ago now and I had taken a sleeping pill to get to sleep around 4:30am. I dont remember the conversation well but the next time I spoke to him he had said I had been really rude. Ok, so I called and apologized. And he still doesnt call or talk to me anymore. Holy shit he didnt even call to bash the Eagles loss yesterday.

Fuck this, fuck that, I dont get it. But at 8 pm I am calling him to ask him what is up. Hes probably going to pretend he isnt there or maybe he wont be but we WILL talk.

I hope I dont lose my temper, but I really thought he was better then that. To at least go hey, you were a bitch and it freaked me out so I dont want to talk to you for a while, or ever. For fucks sake why cant men be men. Whenever I tell someone something bluntly in front of my dad he tells me its not very ladylike. What the ever loving fuck does that mean? Because I am honest I must be acting mannish? Cuz thats total trash. I didnt do anything so bad and no matter what at some point you have to say good bye to people either slightly or completely.

I hate it when people say shit like "I dont like good byes"

Wait until you didnt get the chance to say one before you ever think that is the truth. If its over, then Ill say just that. Good bye. This is why I leave no regrets behind. I wont have to wonder years from now what could have been..... for the second time now with Cd. Cut and dried.


Azathoth said...

Ok, hopefully this gets to you beforee the phone call.

First thing is RELAX!

If you don't remember the phone call then you can't be sure what you said. I know I've said some stuff that was Royally F'up to people when I was tired and or drunk. If you go into the call fired up then you might make more of a problem than there is. One thing I've learned is that once someone starts yelling everyone stops listening. I know how annoying it is when people don't communicate or when they leave without saying goodbye (it's how the Demon left this last time), but if he's just taking a step back don't run him off by being mad. I know part of it is that you are sick of being hurt and (from what I've learned of you from this blog) your reaction to pain is to get mad, but until you know the full situation try and hold the anger at bay. From everything you've said about CD he doesn't sound like the type to pull this and maybe deserves the benifit of the doubt.
The problem with being blunt is that most people don't know how to handle it because they've never been faced with it before. I have a tendency to be blunt, although I've learned to do so with a smile because it helps cushion the blow. But I know others who are blunt like a hammer and then they sit and wonder why people get freaked out by it. It's because too many people play games, so even if they don't it's what they're used to dealing with. I know part of you is funktified because there are feelings involved, but remember it goes both ways. Nobody likes being hurt and sometimes we do really stupid stuff when were afraid.
I hope this works out sweetie. You deserve some serious smiles.

(Oh and if I'm wrong and he's just being a dick, KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!)

Joy said...

Thanks :))

I got impatient and tried to call and there was no answer. Then I refreshed and seen your response. Its quite possible you just saved him an unneeded ass reaming and me unwanted pain. Im going to try to remember these things when I do get him on the phone.

Kind of sucks though because I FEEL like hes avoiding me, which causes an instant loss of respect. But Ill try to remember that maybe thats just a feeling and not the truth.

We will see at 8!

Joy said...

I called. There was the.. who is this pause bullshit. Then about a 5 minute wait before she said he was in the shower. If he doesnt call me this time I am NOT trying again. And I will resent it openly when I see him. Thats just disrespectful childish shit. Then again, a lot of his actions have been childish from the start.

Does anyone need an extra hellspawn in their life at the moment? Because Im done with children, I need an adult.