Thursday, December 02, 2004

Best Friend?

We like the same cartoons. We like the same recreations. We know all the same people. We like the same people. Dislike the same people. We are both quiet natured. Not a lot of excessive talking. No bs chatty convo just to be making noise. We both like the same music. We both enjoy the same types of TV shows. We agree on most things. We are essentially the same person. Heres the problem...

Before I met my cousin recently, he asked my best friend "What is she like?" His answer was a smile and "well, shes like me." When MR aka cousin, told me that.. I smiled, a lot. We are a lot alike. I think the worst part is we think a lot alike. Great for a friendship, not so great for making it more then that.

So here we are, at a stalemate. Im not saying anything about it, hes not saying anything about it. Stuck, one of us has to say something. "If you want me to Ill come over." "If you would like to come over then come on, Ill leave the door open."

See what I mean? No ones giving, no ones going to cave and just go look, I like you.. a lot. So how long can this go on? Who knows. He said to me not long ago, if we have been doing this for 13 years off and on, I have no problem doing it another 13 years. Gah, damnit, he says shit like that a lot. "I need you" "I need you for more then one night at a time"

But then when I say "I love you to death you know?" He doesnt believe me.

So how do you take two non believers, and make them believe? In each other.


BM, The Necessary Movement said...

Unfortunately, in my case you can’t, well I don’t think so. I don’t know, For instance my Wife and I have been friends for 16 years, boy friend girlfriend for 3 years and have been married 4 years. Still to this day I can’t believe she loves me as much as she says she does. Is the problem because all my life I have never really loved myself and I can’t understand why or how someone else would? I think so. I like myself, but find it incredibly impossible for someone to love me as much as she does. I hate to say it but I think I will die not knowing. She tells me all the time, shows me all the time but I can’t believe it. I am an idiot.
Good luck maybe it’s not that you have to believe but
just have faith that he/she does. If they show you and say so, go for it, it’s probably true. After all you are your own worst critic.

Joy said...

:( You have to be right on this one. At a party not long ago he commented openly to the people there that "he wasnt worth the time it takes to love him." Im stuck between believing that and wondering if he was just saying that to build up his guard. Thats the problem here, we are so alike, when he says stuff, I hear myself saying it, and know or feel like I know the reasons behind it.

Who made the first commitment move? You or your wife?

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

Actually we started dating cause she had to get drunk to ask me to date her. I am a slug. Believe it or not, it's the girl that starts most of my past relationships. Have I mentioned I am a slug? We got married by mutual engagement. Thought it would be a hoot!!

She likes slugs!

Gama said...

Believe in yourself.
Have faith in the people that surround you.

rolandog said...

Wow BM, that's some great advice. I hope everything works out for you, Joy!

Hmm, perhaps the idea of talking it out over a glass of beer, or perhaps over a barrel of beer is quite a good option.

Love between friends should become less surprising, mainly because... well, friends are supposed to know each other pretty well.

Azathoth said...

Every relationship I've ever had except one were friends of mine first. Several of them I'm still friends with even though the relationship is over. There's nothing wrong with a freindship going deeper, in fact it contains less suproses than starting with someone new. The trick is if the relationship doesn't work being able to go back to the friendship afterwards. Funny enogh, just like BM most of the time it's been the girl who's asked me out. The only one I asked was the Demon, go figure.
Hope things work out for you and your friend. Be brave Joy. Maybe you should have him read this blog, or maybe he will on his own.