Thursday, November 11, 2004

Men & Women

I have a very important question for anyone willing to answer.

Is there anything about a man who hits a woman, that makes him a good man? Lets say the woman is really hard to deal with. Perhaps she isnt always straight forward with the man. Perhaps she she did some things that were rude, or wrong. Is there anything that justifies a man raising his fist, and pummeling her until she cant even move. Is there anything ok with the woman going to work, starting new jobs, with two black eyes from the abuse?

In your own life, in the life you share with no one, or your lady... is there ever any reason or right to be this? To abuse, to raise hands in anger.

If there is no justification for this abuse... then what should the woman do? Once shes been abused for years and years... where is her justice? What could she do at that time that would make it so she could live with herself again?

Burning bridges, one slab at a time.


BM, The Necessary Movement said...

I don’t think there is an excuse for hitting anyone. If you are protecting yourself and/or your family, I am a 100% for self-defense. I have seen abuse and been abused all my early childhood and it sucks!!! If your significant other hits you, you leave!!!!! Ok so they were pissed, trust me they will be pissed again in their lifetime. Abuse is bullshit!!!! Run like hell no matter how much you love them. Don’t bother waiting for the excuse because there is none!!

Joy said...

I agree. Abuse in any form is absolute bullshit. And sadly I didnt run fast enough. But now I have an ex who tells me daily how "Good of a man" he is. And for the life of me I cant figure out how a man who would beat his woman for 4 years can be good. Im just looking for personal clarity and support on my own theories.

Thanks for stating them back to me just as I seen it in the first place.

Azathoth said...

Any man who hits a women is nothing more than a rabid dog and needs to be put down. When I was young I had a good friend die because her boyfriend hit her and she fell and hit her head on a fireplace. She bled to death while he stood there trying to think of an excuse why she fell before calling for an ambulance. If you are a man who has hit a women do the world a favor and end your life. Period. You are a waste of good air. Now one of my other friends has just gone back to living with an ex husband who hit her because she doesn't want to be alone. I don't understand people at all.

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

You stay far away from him Joy!! You are to smart and sweet to be with an ass monkey like that!!!

Joy said...

Thanks loads to you both. I was having one of the worst days Ive had in a while after talking to Mr. Ass Monkey this morning. Now having stumbled in here and learned a new insult aka Ass Monkey, I feel worlds better.

You guys are great, seriously.

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

Hey anytime!!! : )

Irie said...

women go back to these men..becuase after the physical abuse ..their mental ablities become weaker then their flesh..
" YOU cant survive without me? how you gonna feed those kids? Your a peice of shit..shuttup before i beat yer ass again.."
Most of the Joy and I..arent strong enough to go..most women in these situations have had no job for years...and are terrified of it..daycare, enough money to move..first last and security.
I was the first resident ever in the battered womens shelter I lived in to be voted to the board of directors.
nothing was more frustrating to watch a woman with 6 ..maybe 8 children..been wtih the same monster for years and terrified of his retribution on her or hr kids ..she would go back..not even staying for the full month of couceling and a program i created..a transitional living program..
its been going on since the dawn of time...generation after of the women is our only hope..and their children.
I dont know any man that has ever 'graduated' from court mandated therapy
my 2 cents.

Joy said...

Well for me its over. Never again will I be with someone who cant handle their alcohol. Im not going to swear off men that drink because some people, like myself, are actually fun when they drink, relaxing, loving even. When my lips are loose from drinking I say all the NICE things Ive been meaning to say, not the mean shit.

For me the worst part of the abusive relationships was being there, in the moment, knowing it could kill me, knowing how bad and dangerous and unacceptable it was, and still unable to remove myself from it.

In my head it wasnt so much an I need him thing. I am perfectly happy alone from time to time. But it was more or less the point of feeling like he was ill. That he needed help. Needed my help, because who else would deal with it. If I leave him hes going to drink himself to death kind of thing. Or drink and drive and kill himself. I even felt bad for him once thinking that if he killed me while drunk, he would have to live with it and I know that sober, he would have been in pieces had he really caused my death.

And he said, still says, that I dont have a conscience.